Current Projects Finished Projects Granny Squares Favorite Sites Freebies Background Sets Crafting & More E-Cards to Send E-Mail Accounts Freebie Sites Genealogy Get Paid Graphics Money Information Online Graphic Generators Recipes Teacher Freebies Website Hosting Jolly Joker Animals Blondes Definitions Farmers Hunting Medical Men & Women Miscellanous Mother Nature Religious Wacky Stuff Work/Office IPR Collection Airlines Animal Organizations Antique Cars & Trucks Big Cats Bowling Charities Collectibles Comics Cyberpets Funny Sites Ice Hockey Maps Music Sites Pets U.S. States Info Guestbook Sign my book View my book E-Mail Me Background by: Freemo Designs

The Jolly Joker Definition Jokes Omitted Definitions In 1831, Mr. Webster published the first dictionary of the English language. Unfortunately, he omitted several definitions - mostly those related to the daily lives of women. The following definitions, written from the viewpoint of Mrs. Webster, are to help correct that oversight. Aaaack (aak) interj An utterance upon running directly into a spider web first thing in the morning - and you don't know where the spider is now. Airhead (er-hed) n What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman. Bar-be-que (bar-bi-q) n You bought groceries, washed lettuce, chopped tomatoes, diced onions, marinated meat and cleaned everything up, but he "made dinner." Baseball Bat (bas-bol bat) n An anti-burglar device. Children (chil-dren) n What men become when they get the flu. Computer (kom-pew-ter) n The one thing in a woman's life that does exactly what she tells it to. Dog (dawg) n A creature that hears a burglar barks once, then hides in the closet. Eternity (e-ter-ni-tee) n The last two minutes of a football game. Four Food Groups (for food groups) n Chocolate, Diet soda, potato chips and ice cream. Grocery List (grow-ser-ee list) n What you spend half-an-hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store. Home (hom) n A dwelling that ideally has the same number of bathrooms as people. Idunno (i-dun-no) The child who broke your favorite vase. Jeans (jeenz) n Blue: Casual wear Black: Formal wear Kiss (kis) n A small token of affection, usually chocolate. Men's Sale (minz sal) n It's OK to get one on sale, just make sure the store has a good return policy. New Age (noo aj) n The age a woman gives instead of her real age. Opinion (o-pin-yen) n Advice you get whether you ask for it or not. Park (park) v, n Before children, a verb meaning "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing and slide. Pizza (peet-za) n An excellent breakfast food. Pregnancy (pre-nan-see) n You gain 30 lbs. of water weight, but he says, "we're pregnant." Romance Novel (ro-mans-nov-el) n A completely believable story in which an arrogant, boorish, rude, cold-hearted cad by day turns into a sensitive, caring, thoughtful, passionate lover by night. Screwdriver (skrew-dri-ver) n A hardware tool designed to be turned around and used as a hammer. Significant Other (sig-nif-i-kant uth-er) n A husband, fiancé, boyfriend, or someone you've introduced to your parents. Stretch Marks (strech marcs) n Badges of honor. Teddy Bear (ted-ee bare) n A companion, who gives you a hug whenever you want, never snores, doesn’t bother you when you're talking on the phone and doesn't eat the last chocolate chip cookie. Valentine's Day (val-en-tinez dae) n A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card. Weight Lifting (wate lif-ting) n What every woman does when she carries her baby, purse and two bags of groceries. Yippee (yip-ee) interj What a woman thinks when a man says he'll call--then does. Zillion (zil-yen) n The number of times you ask someone to take out the trash, then end up doing it yourself anyway. Source: email Crafters Banner Exchange